Sunday, October 10, 2010

Euro Jaeger and Energy Drinks

Blogosphere -

Sorry for the lack of update whilst in Amsterdam. That city sure can entertain. The purpose of this post is not a recap of our latest travels; instead it will be a review for all those daring to dabble in jaegerbombs abroad.

(1) Jaegermaister - classic version as in the States. Not a noticeable difference but its only 700ml in Europe. Not up to par.
(2) Underberg - possibly the worst alcohol shot ever to be consumed. Popov would get embarrassed. In the words of Turbo, it tastes like "the worst Jaeger you've ever had, mixed with cough syrup and then eating pine needles." Others just thought it tasted like gasoline.
(3) St. Hubertus Tropfen - a true Jaeger knockoff. Tastes decent, and is a euro per 4 shots. Great in a pinch or platform to a train.

Energy Drinks:
(1) Red Bull - Can't go wrong. Neva.
(2) Effect - Comes in a Red Stripe bottle, and packs a punch. Big in East Berlin.
(3) Rodeo - Like the Euro version of Red Bull. Comes in small can, just like Red Bull. Damn good.
(4) Bullit - Questionable at first glance as the can has the classic picture of a naked dude with 4 legs on the front. But it is the Rockstar of Europe, so we endorse it.

Stay classy bloggers.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Goodbye Berlin, Hello Amsterdam

Being the only one in the group currently alive on the train as we travel through the German countryside on our way to Amsterdam, I rightfully accept the honor to keep you updated on our final stint in Germany. And if you couldn't tell by the beginning of this entry, we are succeeding in our mission to spread faded glory across the Atlantic.

Yesterday was our final night in Berlin. After visiting the East Side gallery and eating some kebabs, we headed to Kaisers to pick up our drinks of the moment: the standard alcohol needed for FG's staple-jaeger and effect energy as well as our newfound European inspired choice-eiskorn and fanta. All you need to know about eiskorn is that it is neither a vodka nor rum and can be deadly when mixed with lemon fanta.

And who is the ultimate person who can attest to this? (It really shouldn't be hard to figure out)


Not only did Jackhammer take some incredible footage of him last night performing a brillant dance, but he decided it was necessary to get out of the cab halfway back to the apartment. Why? Well, apparently we won't ever know since 3 minutes later he blamed Mattattac for not being able to get a cab. So they walked around Berlin with Mattattac acting as a tour guide for an hour and a half until 4:300 leaving only an hour of sleep to be achieved at the apartment before we needed to leave to catch our 8:30 train.

If this is how we said goodbye to Berlin, it's going to be an interesting start to Amsterdam.

Thank you Detroit, we love you.

Note: another camera has joined Turbo's. J-train's nikon fell onto tile, we are contemplating on whether to take it off life support. We're looking for an excellent surgeon when we return-so Ace we hope you know a guy.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Berlin survival

To my happy bloggers,

I hope all is well. Do not worry, even though Obama has our back and is issuing warnings, we are still alive and going strong. First off, Id like to thank the Giants for the playoffs. Second, Id like to blame the Germans for switching the y and z on the keyboard. Thats just uncalled for.

Berlin has been great, Mattattack has broken his blackout streak, but its okay since all good things come to an end. Right now, Berlin has been treating us quite well. We stopped at a bar today that inspired a new themed bar we will be opening in New York City named Nasdaq-eries, and trust me, it will be the Rudys of NYC.

We watched a Berlin soccer game last night, and despite the aggressive pregraming Jackhammer fell asleep at the game. The invigorating 0-0 while tied was not exactly the most thrilling adventure thus far. However, even after Turbos tragic pants incident, he has been doing extremely well with no pants, and his endless supply of shorts have done him well. God bless him, he really has been a trooper.

Tonight we are going Jaegerbombin with a newfound love of one of the peeps in our crew, but we will not reveals who future wife it is yet. We need to make sure the chemistry is definitely there. We will say this though, I have seen some great romances in my day (I mean Ive watched Love Actually and multiple Freddy P movies) but Ive never quite seen a match like this. One of us may not come back.

Thank you Detroit, we love you. Until next time.

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Late, Late, Late Show

3AM here. And we all just woke up. Some of us went straight at the beast also known as Oktoberfest yesterday, and let me say there's a reason people don't make it back from there the same way. We had overall an unbelievable performance yesterday, but despite the competition yesterday's winner was:

Turbo (not really much surprise here)

The competition was stiff. J train boot and rallied early, where she won the rounds but lost the war. Mattattack sent the following text messages to Turbo, although we may need a translator

"K aorry thatvankwsbnobawbaw" and
"To I'm an other tharion trying ringer on S2"

Before he gives his acceptance speech for his first winning (of many) awards, I'll just relay his Pontiac game changing performance for our followers. Aside from abandoning Jackson outside of a bathroom and wandering off for a doner (which he probably never found), he took a remarkable 30 minute shower fully clothed when getting back to the hotel. That includes shoes. We'll let you know if the camera is going to make it out alive, but it's uncertain at this point. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated.

His speech, though very succinct, fully shows his true excitement for this honor: "Oh man, I don't even know what to write to this post." True class act. One of the last left in the biz.

Thank you Detroit we love you.

Oktoberfest Live Update (at least when it was written)

First of many. Sorry for the lack of content. Internet is spotty over here. Calling in from the Lowenbrau tent, we are making moves and downing steins. To the past Faded Glory crew, please know you're in our hearts and dreams- Dorian is rocking his cutoff right now so know he's staying true to his colors.

We'd like to extend a warm welcome to the new members of our crew. Please join be Turbo, as I put my hands together for Jackson "the jackhammer", Jamin "the J train", and Matt "the mattattack." We've taken our party from America's southland to Germany's southside and hope you will join us for the ride. We promise to keep you updated with the news of our travels, insightful social commentary, and of course frequent updates of our jaegerbombing. Stay tuned blogosphere.

Yeaaaaaaa to those of you there, having a beer, respect. We love you. We love everyone. Our waitresses are awesome. You'll see us in lederhosen, and soon, be prepared. Much love. Love you. Love you dude, all the love. Holla. At Love. Love.

Friday, June 25, 2010


Memphis, Tennessee: A Tale of Two Cities
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of jaeger bombs, it was the age of sickening barbecue, it was bright lights and beautiful people, it was impoverished ghettos.

After our discouraging evening in New Orleans, we set our sights on Memphis. A friend had told us that Memphis has little to offer but does boast one of the most fun partying locales in the country, Beale Street. He could not have been more correct. Beale street was like a cheap Las Vegas condensed into a two block strip. Both sides of the street were lined with bars and clubs, drinks were cheap (relative to New Orleans), live jazz and soul music resonated through the air, there were no bad smells wafting through the streets, the people were young, and we capitalized on all of it.
When we first arrived at Beale Street we were awe struck. The police had closed down traffic on the street (as they do every weekend) so that drunk people could walk around and carry drinks from bar to bar. There were neon lights and signs everywhere and tons of young people. It looked awesome! As excited as we were, we were also starving. So, the first thing we did was walk down the street looking for a place to grab a quick dinner. We settled on a small diner at the end of the street where we scarfed down a small dinner and then headed back to the bars. We then bar hopped until closing (sometime around 3AM). Some of the bar highlights were an outdoor irish pub, an upbeat jazz club that had signed guitars from tons of celebrities and famous people, street vendors that sold huge beers, and a bumpin' nightclub in the third story of an empty building. The night finally came to a close with Pearl buying a slice of pizza from a street vendor and us then taking an epic cab ride back to our motel (email us for details about the cab ride).
That was where the fun ended.
Pearl awoke in the middle of the night with terrible gastrointestinal pain and stayed in the bathroom from 7-9AM battling some demons. This was presumably the consequence of eating street vendor pizza at 3 in the morning but we'll never know for sure what happened. Later that afternoon we mobilized and went to find some traditional Memphis BBQ before heading out for Nashville. Dorian consulted Yelp to find a good BBQ joint. Payne's BBQ was highly rated so we decided to check it out. On the drive we started to get a little worried as our GPS led us deeper and deeper into hood. Much to our dismay we pulled up at a decaying shack with a piece of cardboard on the door that had “Payne's BBQ” scrawled in Sharpie on it. We didn't really know what to do. So we went in. There were no other customers. There were no other employees. There was just one man sitting behind a counter and he did nothing, just stared at us. The walls were mildewed, it was hot and smelly, and the ceiling was falling in. We still don't know why we ordered. Maybe it was out of fear, or because we didn't want to be disrespectful by walking out, or simply because we briefly convinced ourself that this place might be really “authentic.” Regardless, we ordered. However, once the man started hacking up slabs of petrified meat in the “kitchen” (which was completely dark, like not a single light in it) we decided this was a bad idea. We still didn't want to be disrespectful so we asked the man if it would be alright to get our food to go. When he finished slapping together our sandwiches he boxed them and we hurriedly paid and returned to the safety of our car. We agreed the proper course of action would be to toss the Payne's sandwiches and find another place to eat. While searching for another barbecue joint we discovered our error. Apparently Memphis has two Payne's. Turbo hastily plugged the address of the poorly rated Payne's rather than the highly rated one into our GPS. So, we thought there might still be hope for salvaging the good name of Payne's BBQ and we headed off to try the other one.
When we pulled up to the second Payne's we were again somewhat skeptical since the building was nothing special and it was next to a lot that sold used tires...but again, we thought we'd give it a try. Once we walked in we were more reassured. There were customers inside and four or five people whipping up pulled pork sandwiches. The food was cheap and not terrible, but by no means good. Pearl was in no condition to finish his sandwich, and the pulled pork gave Julie and Dorian stomach pains. With that meal we said goodbye to southern BBQ and Memphis.
Overall, Memphis can be a ton of fun if you stick to Beale street and the more metropolitan areas, however, if you venture too far from the city center then be ready for a lot of disappointment.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

New Orleans

Most Overrated City in the World

In the spirit of Martin Luther, we have come up with 12 Theses on why New Orleans is the most overrated city in the world.

1.Drinks are incredibly overpriced.
2.Nobody under 47 parties on Bourbon Street
3.The streets smell horrible.
4.There are puddles of stagnant water containing upwards of 34 exotic diseases.
5.It is way too humid and sticky.
6.You are constantly harassed by hookers who try to make you take test tube shots out of their junk.
7.Jaeger costs over $50 a bottle in liquor stores.
8.Smirnoff Ice goes for 14.99 a six pack leading to a ridiculously low level of iceage.
9.The food is overrated and over priced.
10.Get off Bourbon street and you are in the hood.
11.No windows in the hotel rooms.
12.The bathroom lights create rave settings at all times of the day.

As can be seen, our night in New Orleans was anything but remarkable. For a city known as the Big Easy, we expected more. As connoisseurs of some of the finest partying cities across the globe (Big Spring, Albuquerque, Wimberley, Waco), we have developed a fine palate for partying. New Orleans was a let down. Overall Rating: 6.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Shreveport, Louisiana

On the long drive from Dallas to NOLA we worked up quite an appetite and decided to stop in Shreveport, LA for some lunch. A friend had recommended we try Herby K's, home of the Shrimp Buster. As we pulled up to Herby K's shanty we were filled with skepticism and a little fear. This place was far from a gourmet restaurant. It was a small shack in the middle of a run down area of Shreveport and there were no people around anywhere. But, we had been told this was the best place to eat so we decided to give it a chance. As soon as we walked through the door we started feeling a little better about the spot. The owner greeted us with a smile and a hello. We sat down and perused the local seafood delicacies on the menu. After we ordered, the owner came back and sat down next to us. He asked us where we were from, what we were doing, and just talked to us until our food was ready. We appreciated this. It is rare to find a place in California where a server/owner/etc. will sit down and get to know the customers. It's a shame because this fosters the sense of community that is lacking in many big cities. I sadly am now more emotionally invested in Herby K than my own local burrito wrapper (language barrier is no excuse). When we finished our food we got back on the road and hightailed it towards NOLA.

Review of Herby K's, home of the Shrimp Buster
Food: 7
Atmosphere: 8.5
Customer Service: 9.5
Highlights: Crawfish etouffee, shrimp buster, the owner is awesome
Lowlights: onion rings

Herby K's is a small, friendly Louisiana style seafood joint. It boasts being the home of the Shrimp Buster, a dish that consists of shrimp that have been pounded flat, fried, and served on top of buttered french toast. In addition, it features delicious crawfish etouffee, a signature dish in the bayou. Perhaps more delectable than the food, was Herby K himself. The man took the time to sit with us, discuss our trip, and even provide directions and advice about New Orleans. Great guy, great food. If you're passing through Shreveport, make an effort to go say hi to Herby.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Dallas Day 1:

After a scenic drive through the pristine Texan country side, we arrived in Dallas. First stop-- replenish the Jaeger and Red Bull supply. Unfortunately, with Jaeger prices breaking the $40 a bottle mark for the first time all trip, the group made a unanimous decision to postpone Jaeger activity until prices fell to a reasonable amount. Settling for a case of Pearl Light, we arrived at the home of a friend. Ravenous after an exhausting day, our host took us to one of Dallas' finest culinary establishments—Bubba's Chicken (Review to follow).

Satisfied with dinner, we headed back to our home base for a few refreshments, then headed out to Milos. Complete with darts, pool, Foosball tables, Big Buck Hunter, and $5 pitchers, Milos made for a great night. We headed back to the house, finishing the night off with a late night ball session on the backyard court. The week off the hardwood showed, as Pearl struggled to make anything outside of 3 feet.

Dallas Day 2:

The morning started early with an 8:30 AM arrival at Lerma's cousins' house for the Mexico v. Uruguay world cup game. Complete with breakfast quesdaillas, Jarritos, salsa verde and roja, marinated beef and chicken, and all the fixin's, Lerma and Co. delighted us with an authentic Mexican morning.

Feeling energized, we headed out for one of Dallas' biggest attractions—The Dallas World Aquarium. We wandered the confusing paths of the aquarium, getting glimpses of some of the World's most exotic creatures. Favorites included the jaguar, the anteater, the sloth, the giant river otter feeding, and of course, the sawtooth shark. T Being lifetime members of the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the aquarium left us wanting a bit more. Overall score: 7.

Leaving the tropical world of the aquarium, we headed for the equally exotic town of Mesquite, TX, home of the Skeeters of Mesquite High. After grabbing a quick bite at the 5-Star rated Joe's Pizza and Pasta, we took in a$0.50 flick at the local movie theater. Clash of the Titans was the choice, which earned mixed reviews from our group. We headed back to our abandoned home without running water, furniture, plumbing, or high speed wireless internet, washed up in the neighbor's sprinkler, and hit the sack.
The next morning we woke early in order to watch the USA soccer team pull out one of the most exciting victories in soccer history. Sidenote: while watching, we enjoyed the privilege of spotting MATT THIRY's gorgeous face in the stands in South Africa! When the game was over we hit the road and headed for New Orleans.

Review of Bubba's Fried Chicken in Dallas, Texas

Food: 8
Atmosphere: 7
Customer Service: 9
Highlights: Chicken tenders
Lowlights: Chicken:Biscuit ratio was far too low, there was a fried chicken head in our box...we're not really into that

Our host recommended Bubba's as the premier dining establishment in Dallas. It featured exceptional fried chicken, extremely fast service, reasonable prices, and even a drive thru (but we decided to eat in). Our only complaints were that there were far too many biscuits for the amount of chicken we ordered and we discovered a fried chicken head (beak and all) in our box. We don't know if that's how chicken's done in the South but we weren't feeling that. Overall, we would highly recommend Bubba's to anyone looking for some quick, tasty soulfood. Just be careful you don't choke on a beak.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Dr. Pepper Museum, Waco, Texas

The drive from Austin to Dallas required a midway stop to stretch, and nothing seemed more enticing than the Dr. Pepper Museum in Waco, Texas. The exhibits on the first floor displayed many riveting artifacts, such as old bottles, bottling equipment, and the beverage history. The second floor was even better, focusing solely on teaching America's youth tricks in successfully trading stocks. The third floor's theater played all of Dr. Pepper's commercials, from the 70s to today. Finally, the soda fountain served wonderful Dr. Pepper floats before we returned to the road. While it had its perks, the Dr. Pepper Museum regretfully does not make our must-see list for our road trip attractions.

Temple, Texas

Review: Clem Mikeske's Pit Barbaque, Temple, Texas
Food: 4.5]
Atmosphere: 7.5
Customer Service: 8
Highlights: taxidermy collection
Lowlights: barbaque

Seeing a sign for a true texan barbaque establishment, we were excited to finally taste something authentic. Inside, they offered a variety of barbaqued meats and sides, which we found subpar, especially the strange barbaque sauce. We did, however, enjoy the incredible collection of taxidermy staring us down as we ate. Exhibiting everything including elk, boars, bears, bobcats, birds, alligators, badgers, moose and fish, we would suggest this place more for its museum qualities than its food service.

Austin, Texas

Arriving late to our hotel in Austin, we excitedly got ready to go out on the town. We went straight to 6th street, where we started our night at the Cheers bar. The other car traveling with us had stayed in Austin the night before, and happily ordered us a round of Blue Waves upon our arrival. They were a surprise to say the least. (Spoiler Alert: if you are traveling to Austin soon, this next bit will spoil Cheers' Blue Wave). As instructed we pounded on the bar, yelling “Give me the blue! blue! blue!” and were handed a shot of something blue, which we suspect is blue curacao. Then we pounded and yelled “Give me the wave! wave! wave!” and then the bar tender threw glasses of water in each of our faces. Surprise!
We progressed down the street, enjoying each bar and drink special we came upon. And one place had a great deal on jaegerbombs! After a little pool and (nasty) whiskey waters, the bars came to a close so we returned to the hotel. The next morning we woke up early to watch Switzerland loose Chile. (Dorian is still questioning the red card).

Sunday, June 20, 2010


North America's Largest water park beaconed us once again to New Braunfels and after a few jaegerbombs, we were pumped for the 3 miles of water slides. We started in the original Schlitterbahn park, hitting all the classic family fun slides. We questioned the use of untreated (slightly green, opaque) comal creek water but gladly jumped in to avoid the 100+ degree heat. We found some great slides but struggled on the “easy” floatin' ones. Rippled slide bottoms were painful in shallow water and Julie often started floating backwards in odd eddies, requiring significant effort to catch back up with the boys. After hitting the pool bar, we discovered Schlitterbahn East, or Blastenhof and Surfenburg! Blastenhof had the amazing slides Black Knight, Wolfpack, and America's favorite waterslide, the Master Blaster. While Black Knight and Master Blaster (the original uphill waterslide) were fun, nothing compared to the Wolfpack for us. With up the three people in a raft, we pushed the limits for fun (and mass) to lead to some close calls, making it the highlight of the day. While we are still unsure if Schlitterbahn is actually North America's largest water park and intend to continue research to answer all our readers' questions, we still thoroughly enjoyed our day at Schlitterbahn!

Review: Iron Horse Grill and Saloon, New Braunfels, Texas
Food: 8.5
Atmosphere: 7
Customer Service: 7
Highlights: bossburger – comes with an egg on it – wow, fries, hot sauce
Lowlights: thousands of mosquitoes, use of styrofoam cups

We stumbled upon this delightful old wooden saloon in our exhausted state after our day at Schlitterbahn. Offering exceptional burgers and fries, this place met and exceeded our standards for quick grill food. The extensive indoor and outdoor seating looked wonderful for a bar and outdoor music scene, though no one was there when we were, perhaps due to the ravenous mosquitoes circling the tables outside. Overall though we would recommend the Iron Horse Grill and Saloon to other New Braunfels visitors.

9PM - A.Rose:

Forgive the length between posts - we only thrive where there is WiFi. Alas we do not always find this at your average Motel 6 or grandma's house.

I wanted to briefly update our readership. It is with a heavy heart that I announce I have left the trip. In order to return to our country's capital to begin my job for the summer, I could not go the distance with my 3 trusty companions and the glorious Volvo, Ethel. Fondly, I will look upon the adventures we had and the memories we made. And while we parted ways at the San Antonio International Airport just this afternoon, it was not with a "goodbye" but with a "see you soon." We will be reuniting, in what I'm sure will feel like no time, here in the District of Columbia. Additionally, Dorian, Julie, and Pearl will update you on the time in between now and the last post as we have entries prepared.

On an even more serious note, I did want to let the bloggersphere know that I have set up Google Analytics with our blog. This means that we know how many visits our blog has had, INCLUDING unique views. We hope that those of you who rode Dorian to the top of the social latter over the course of the last few years will take note of this and remember all that you owe to him.

xoxo A.Rose

Wimberley Texas

After the winery, we jumped in the car to visit the wonderful small town of Wimberlely, Texas were Arose's grandmother lives right on the 17th hole of the golf course. We picked up a pizza, opened a movie store account, and headed over to the EmilyAnn Theater for the closing night of the local production of Grease. After greasing up with a ton of bug repellent, we found our seats among what seemed like the whole town. While we are all familiar with the songs and plot of Grease, we found new points of drama within the drama. Namely, the age disparity among the actors, even within the Tbirds (some near balding, another not older than 13) and Pink Ladies, made this production interesting. Clearly, the young Sandra Dee and the much older Danny Zucco were going to kiss, but their repeated contact during bows and encores led the crowd abuzz. Or maybe that was the deafening cicadas drowning out the dialog. Hard to say.
Anyway, then we headed back to the house to finish off the many bottles of wine we got the winery with a little Finding Forester. Overall, not a bad day.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Dry Comal Creek Winery

Hey Blogosphere,

Just finished a lovely afternoon at Texas' finest winery, Dry Comal Creek. Located just outside of New Braunfels, TX, the winery is owned by relatives of A Rose. The day started with an extensive tasting of 15 different wines. Some of the highlights of the tasting included the White Black Spanish, Sparkling Dry, and a lovely 2008 un-oaked Cabernet Sauvignon. Though everyone should try this wine at some point in their lives, here are a few adjectives that capture it's true beauty—approachable, integrated, edgy but not sharp, schizophrenic, round. After some delightful tasting, we joined in on the winery tour where we got a first-hand glimpse of the entire wine-making process. Finally, the trip ended with one of the oldest traditions in all of Texas—a Shooting Blanc shot. It consisted of a delectable Sauvignon Blanc and jalepeno pepper. According to the guidelines, you shoot the wine and pepper into the front of your month under your tongue, chew the pepper 27 times, and swallow. It was quite fun, though left our mouths on fire. Luckily we had some homemade Sangria to cool ourselves off. A fabulous day, filled with fabulous wines, people, and learning. If you ever tire of the offerings in Napa and Sonoma, take a trek along the I40 and make a stop at Dry Comal Creek winery. You won't be disappointed.

6:00PM San Antonio

We arrived in San Antonio and made a beeline to the Alamo to see the sight where heroes fought. The informational brochure inside listed the names of those brave soles, including a Rose family member. We then checked into the Westin San Antonio, which instantly won the award for the finest hotel we have stayed in yet. Right on the river walk, the views were exceptional. After getting ready and excessively jaeggerbombing, we walked down the river for a great Tex Mex dinner at Casa Rio. We continued on to a nearby karaoke bar (recommended by our waiter) where the night truly began, especially since they had a special on jaegerbombs. We tried to get on the performers list, but the stage was controlled by a few obnoxious employees. After an incredible performance of Drowning Pool and numerous Jae Jae Bombs, we headed back to the hotel where a late night chill session was highlighted by an intense partner stretching session before bed. Off to the winery tomorrow!

Friday, June 18, 2010

We had our first casualty on the road today. A Rose crashed into a bird on a Texan Interstate.
In Memory: 2 Haikus to the Bird R.I.P.

It happened so fast.
Why couldn't you have warned me?
Please, more than a splat!

You opened our eyes,
You made us appreciate
Just how short life is.

-Nathan Pearl 2010

Big Spring Dining

Review of Country Fare (24 hour truck stop restaurant in Big Spring, Texas)
Food: 6.5
Atmosphere: 3.5
Customer Service: 4.5
Highlights: Chili, garlic bread, and inexpensive
Lowlights: Mashed potatoes, gravy, slow service, children developing cancer

After enjoying our feast at Country Fare we returned to our motel room. Much to our delight, Fifty Cent's Get Rich or Die Tryin' was showing on TV. There could have been no better way to cap off an incredible day than by dozing off to the sounds of crack pipes and mack 10's. Thank you Big Spring. Stay classy.

Social Commentary on Texan Liquor Laws

We spent last night in Big Spring, Texas. Whackosaurus. Last night was game 7 of the NBA finals, so naturally our instinct was to locate a sports bar to grab some dinner, watch the game, and knock back 7-12 jae jae bombs. Unfortunately, every bar that iphone identified was either dilapidated (to the point of nonexistence, aka pile of rubble), super sketch (think San Quentin prison), or closed. Feeling defeated, we decided to check into a hotel, get some adult beverages, and watch the game in our room. We settled on the luxurious Plaza motel. It featured dual queen beds and an array of amenities that included free wi-fi (thank them for enabling us to get this blog up and running), warm water, refrigerator, and a continental breakfast. After securing the room we went out in search of booze, while doing so we realized a few interesting things about variations in state specific liquor laws.
First, we all (speaking to the California readers) take our hippie ass liquor laws for granted. In California, almost all convenience stores, supermarkets, etc. carry beer, wine, and spirits and serve them from 6AM - 2AM. This is not the case in Texas. In Texas, liquor must be sold by a state licensed liquor vendor. This means it is not in gas stations, convenience stores, pharmacies, supermarkets or mostly anywhere else. In addition, beer can only be sold from 7AM – 12:00AM on Monday-Friday, 7AM-1AM on Saturday, and 12PM – 12AM on Sunday while hard alcohol can only be sold from 10AM – 9PM on Monday – Saturday and is completely unavailable on Sundays. Recognizing that these legal intricacies could make it difficult to find Jaeger at 8:45 PM in a run down crapbox of a town we decided to book it a couple miles down the road to the Beer & Ice store to load up on Natty for the night.
The purchase of the thirty rack revealed the second alcohol related realization. Texas (quite obviously post fact) does not have CRV. For those of you who are unfamiliar with CRV, it is an acronym for California Refund Value. Basically, in an attempt to generate tax revenue, reduce drinking, and promote recycling, the geniuses running California decided to charge a tax of $0.05 per can of beer and then refund that money when you return the can to a recycling center. It's not a terrible policy when you think about it. But anyways, Texas does not have anything like this and as a result has much lower total taxes on beer. Wonderful for us, not so wonderful for the environment. Start recycling you rednecks.
A final interesting factoid that we learned is that despite the stereotype of Texans being beer drinking hicks, there are 30 counties in Texas that are completely dry. We have yet to encounter any of those counties and hope this steak remains alive.

Now that you are as knowledgeable about Texas alcohol as we are, we can get back to how our night shaped up.

When we got back to the motel we switched on the game with enough time to catch the end of the second quarter and fit in a team jae jae bomb. We pillaged the free wi-fi while watching the Lakers eek out an NBA championship over the Celtics (something that absolutely no one in America cares about, with the exception of LA and Boston natives). Once the game was over and we were sufficiently lubricated we stumbled over to Country Fare --the 24 hour restaurant next to the motel.
Country Fare was about all you'd expect from a 24 hour joint in Big Spring. The food was surprisingly satisfactory and some dishes such as the chili and the Dakota double burger were well above average. However, the slow service and mediocrity of other items detracted from the experience. One interesting topic of discussion was the presence of a smoking room. In California, customers are not allowed to smoke in restaurants. Apparently, this is still allowed in Texas and it is facilitated by a smokers only dining room that is separated from the main dining room by a large glass wall which allows the “health conscious” patrons to watch the “cancer cases” like animals in a zoo. While this was quite amusing we were also saddened to observe multiple families with children choose to eat in the smoking room. This sparked a train of discussion about the ethical qualms of providing such smoking rooms and what sort of restrictions should exist to ensure that the inhabitants are of legal age, have provided consent, and not subjected to unknown health risks. Much more could be said on this topic. For a more intimate discussion please email


"C'mon kids, to the smokin room. Gramma needs a cigarette."

(taken on the Crackberry at Country Fare Restaurant...a 24/7 resto at a trucker joint)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Big spring Texas has got a bucket of popeyes with my name on it.

4:00 PM (Central Time) – Pearl:

We just entered the Lone Star State. We stopped for gas at a random service station that featured a Stuckey's Fried Chicken joint. The menu was lacking so we settled for gas and energy drink replenishments. I am instantly enamored by the Texan fashion and accent. The remaining months of this summer may very well be devoted to strengthening my application to the University of Texas law school. Hook em horns!!!

1 PM (Mt. Time) – Julie:

Just left the beautiful Coors Ave. Albuquerque Motel 6 East for a sunny day on the road to Lubbock. The accommodations were satisfactory for a quick 3am arrival and 11am departure – just a small bathroom, a sink, and beds. After waking up freezing (since turbo blasted the AC to a new extreme), showering and jaeger bombing, we hit the road and drove through Albuquerque on the ol' interstate. The skyline didn't inspire us much, but we had no time to explore more. Seeing the odometer reset after 1000 miles, we were ready to crush more road and jager bombs. Lubbock here we come. Over and out.

3:44 AM – A.Rose:

Today's performance was lackluster at best. We barely broke the 1000 mile mark on this 2.5 week pilgrimage. Disillusioned with the distance between ourselves and our alpha point, we finally called it a day at 3:20 AM in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Hit up a Motel 6, a Motel 76, and finally settled on a Motel 6 that was more to our liking than the first. We're watching some ESPN, updating our specs on the FGVF, and reading our AAA book to chose tomorrow's destination. Over and out until our next adventure begins...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

8:00 PM – Pearl:

Review of Rednecks Southern BBQ in Kingman, Arizona

Food: 7
Atmosphere: 7
Customer Service: 9
Highlights: Great meats and baked beans
Lowlights: mac and cheese

Summary: Rednecks satisfies the appetite of anyone craving the down home feel of a southern backyard barbecue. The meats are exquisitely prepared and the atmosphere features outdoor style bench seating with vinyl checkerboard tablecloths. The employees were friendly and accommodating and even offered A Rose a veteran's discount after observing her credit card's Naval affiliation. If you find yourself passing through Kingman, we suggest you make time to experience Rednecks Southern BBQ. Oh, and try the hot sauce ;) The Jaeger Bombs have started...

6:12 PM – Group Discussion:

Realizing we need some sort of metric to determine trip MVP, we have invented the Faded Glory Value Formula (FGVF):

FGVF=(Hours Driven + (.80(Jaeger Bomb Consumed))) / (# Pukes + 1)

- Hours can be expressed in two significant figures (ie 7.4 hours)
- Jaeger Bombs must be taken in their entirety:
* At a bar, you must drink what the bartender pours
* Everywhere else, a Jaeger Bomb consists of 1 oz. Jaeger and 3 oz. Red Bull or group- or bloggersphere-approved energy drink.
- Daily Puke Values are defined as such:
* If alcohol in excess of one drink is consumed between vomits, the latter puke episode counts as another tally on the puke board.
* Morning after vomitroning episodes also count as a separate puke, regardless of whether or not alcohol was consumed after the last episode.
- Puking for non-alcohol related reasons does not count toward your puke total.

** these specs are still under debate, please refer to this post as we update it and work out the kinks.

3:00 PM – Dorian:

Stumbled upon one of the economic wonders of the world—Boron, CA. AKA the Boron capital of the world. Amazingly, we only saw a total of ten people in the city, a testament to modern technology's ability to replace human labor. We stopped at Domingo's Mexican and Seafood for a bathroom break and a Pacifico. Met Domingo himself. After showing us a selection of his military coin collection—237 in all—the topic of conversation quickly changed from the lack of teaching jobs in California to the many lies of Barack Obama. He left us with a reminder that Ronald Reagan, unlike Obama, was a president who put America first. Back to the car now, Pearl is hammered.

2:30 PM – Pearl:

While driving through Mojave we saw the hundreds of windmills, this inspired us to motivate alternative forms of energy. We decided that the most efficient, productive, and economical options involve recruiting illegal immigrants and grade school PE classes to run in hamster wheel turbines. Stay posted for a more elaborate implementation plan. *Potential policy title: PE for PG&E. Eh?

9:50 AM – A.Rose:

On the road. We begin our journey at 9:24 am with a trunk stock full, no rear vision, a “How do you do?” to Jess Lu, and a couple of bottled Starbuck's fraps. What could go wrong...